Rob Lee: Welcome to the Truth in Art, your source for conversations at the intersection of arts, culture and community. These are stories that matter and I am your host Rob Lee. Today this interview is brought to you with the support of the Eaton Hotel, specifically the Eaton Radio space, a great creative space and I want to thank them again for the hospitality. And my next guest who I am super excited to speak with is a contemporary figurative artist who explores the depths of human emotion through powerful paintings of the human body. She masterfully uses mixed media including oil, acrylic and charcoal to capture the subtle complexities of feeling and the profound connection between stillness and self-discovery. So please welcome Xenia Gray. Welcome to the podcast.
Xenia Gray: Well, I'm Xenia and I'm an artist. I am from Russia, specifically speaking from Siberia. And if we are talking about artist statement and my art, there's definitely a lot lost about my personality. I do firmly believe that I am funny but you can't really see it in my art. And I'm very easygoing which you cannot see it in my art either. And there are a lot of reasons why not. But yeah, I'm just a Virginia mom who lives her life in fairfax and paints.
Speaker 3: It's just like this is the art says this but that is like this is actually who I am.
Xenia Gray: I mean I'm a lot of things. I don't know it depends on where we start and yeah.
Rob Lee: And I run into sort of a similar thing and it's not much of a delineation or separation with Rob on here versus Roberts in real life. Also I use that as a marker too. What do you call me? You know what I mean? And I'm probably a little more and you've probably gotten this in the sort of pre-talk. It's a lot more bits. It's a lot more attempts at humor. And there's some in this but I'm more curious and that's sort of the thing that separates. I think maybe the two.
I'm a bit more curious because that's the nature of these conversations. But I'm just a regular person. I'm just really tall I guess. That's the thing that doesn't come through. I don't know.
Xenia Gray: Yeah, no I understand. You know it's funny you say that I'm just tall. Well with me and I started feeling that in US I'm just from Siberia. Like that's what sticks out for a lot of people here you know. But I am a normal person.
Speaker 3: I'm a person. Like I promise I am a person. Yeah I think we do this identification thing and it I think it's limiting. You know like sometimes when I'm doing this before I'm moving to sort of this next question when I'm when I'm doing these interviews I'm thinking like all right should I make this question very specific to the guest or should I keep it a bit more open-ended and I find that I'm changing that as I go along. So if it's very specific to the artist I find that you're leaving something on the table because they could go deeper and give you the story behind the story. You're like oh go and tell me more. But if you go like very specific they're going to answer about this one specific piece of one body.
Xenia Gray: Exactly yeah yeah yeah no I understand. Yeah it's open-ended questions are definitely the best. Oh yeah.
Rob Lee: Tell me about a time when. Like an interview like a job interview. So I always like to go backwards right to get to the the root of a person and maybe some of these these impactful moments. So you know if they're an early experience in art that the left to impact on you and you know kind of led to sort of the subject matter that you're covering your experience growing up in post-Soviet Siberia.
Speaker 4: Yeah I mean I wouldn't say that I have like one particular impact like my whole life was I mean I've been painting since I was born basically. That's how I remember myself. And you know I was growing up I was not realizing that I was doing that.
It was just kind of automatic very natural to me. And you know when I was 11 my parents just really that's what they said like they had no choice but put me in art school because that's all I wanted to do. And I was not interested in playing dolls or like any maybe normal activities. You know I was a very boyish person who just wanted to paint or yeah. So yeah I started my art school actually I started art school and acting school. I did both and I was always always busy. And thankfully I'm glad that I was always busy because that time 90s in Russia is the worst time to be in Russia. And there were those short periods of time that I had for myself and I would go outside.
I would see things that no child should see. Right. Yeah so which definitely left an impact on me not just in me in my generation.
I mean Russia in general culture is so different from here. And you could kind of sense it in my paintings too even though it kind of starts shifting lately. You know we like my generation especially someone who had experience like me we kind of do have to develop that shell. You know like it's when we are talking about like emotions which you know speaking about emotions it's not easy for me.
Not just personally like culturally just not how it is in my country. And that's what makes my art very emotional because something that I cannot express with words I express it in my art. Yeah so yeah I was growing up in Siberia and I went to my art school which was very strict. I would go there you know after my school I would take a bus and my art school would be closed only if it goes lower than minus 30 degrees. Wow. Yeah otherwise you just yeah you take a bus after school and you ride a bus across the city and yeah that's how my childhood was.
Rob Lee: Yeah. Wow. Wow. No that's it's interesting like you know going back to touching all sort of yeah I guess experiences that one has like I didn't have the typical sort of I was a big kid you know I didn't play football I didn't play any sports and it's like I want to draw and do an illustration and comics and writing and this is where a few things kind of connect.
I remember I wrote a story when I was in high school about something that I saw when I lived in the subsidized house projects down here and I was in Baltimore and our neighbor was throwing out a window a seven story window. Wow. And we heard all of that I didn't see the picture.
Okay. So from what I was hearing maybe five six I heard this whole sort of situation and the rumors and back story around it I ended up writing that into a short story when I was in high school like years later. I just remember my teacher was like this is a really good great fiction. I was like this is a thing that I experienced and growing up and this is we're in the same major group and it's different things and I can only go not culturally but it wasn't the quote-unquote man thing to do to show emotion. Yeah. I was a more emotional kid so pocketing pushing those things away.
Xenia Gray: Yeah we are creative of course.
Rob Lee: But it's like you're too big to have emotions so having to push that stuff to the side so it came out creatively. Yeah. Whether in sort of the short story example or even this brief period when I was a rapper we won't talk about it.
Speaker 3: I had no idea. We won't talk about it.
Rob Lee: But it was a brief period when I was a rapper. If I know what I knew now I would have a whole different plan. Yeah. I think we could say that about a lot of things but having I guess creativity, artistic expression as as they outlet or in some instances I guess a safe space to use the current parlance. So I wanted kind of going to a slightly similar sort of space considering sort of this common struggle I think that I think when we're younger we just create.
Yeah. We have no man I want people gonna like this you're like I'm just doing it. So and I think as we age it's kind of like push down or push out or it's polished in a way that may be outside of our own choosing sometimes we're getting feedback from folks.
Speaker 4: I know that the art market is another thing that happens and younger artists are running into this you need to make work that's like this more famous person that's the way you're working so.
Xenia Gray: Yes there's definitely that there's definitely that struggle and speaking of like pushing down and that happened to me as a child yes I was creating a lot but what happened is I lost myself the reason I lost myself and I lost my creativity and I actually stopped painting for many years is because and it's a deeper conversation it's all my childhood I was bullied a lot because I don't really look Slavic like I don't have like Slavic features I don't look very Russian my father is Armenian so and you know I was called all kinds of stuff terrorist one of them is yeah I look a little bit Middle Eastern I mean for Russians yeah anyway so it's so yeah which again contributed in my character my personality and that shell that I developed and basically I grew up thinking that being myself was not that cool you know so that's kind of I kind of I didn't think that painting was cool either because it was me and my parents were always telling me that you know you can't really like art is not a real profession so they were kind of and I don't blame them because parents they want the best for you and I understand like they just wanted me to survive and be well in that you know post-soviet environment so no blame for them but I did lose myself completely and I did other things like I did a lot of acting I did different photography and when I did paint it was very much the style that it was not my style like my style I found much later in life and I was busy with other things I moved to San Petersburg I went to university I continued my art studies there and then in 2010 I moved to US and yeah I didn't really paint I I did not paint for many years because I was well I didn't think it was my thing right so but the the thing is if it's if something is supposed to be your thing somehow it will bring it like if somehow you will get there and I had to get there to realize that art is my thing through a lot of struggle and what brought me to back to paintings painting is actually my more of my like a spiritual development and you know spiritual development I'm not saying I didn't like discover religion no and I didn't have religion when I was growing up actually I have never been to church I was baptized as a child because that's what russian is doing but nobody took me to church and I mean so the kitchens didn't really have religion to begin with so for me the spirituality was something silly that my grandma was doing
Speaker 3: you know it's it was not a cool thing you know it's and especially like russian orthodox church is so corrupted like I never thought
Xenia Gray: like I would get there somehow but yeah what are we talking
Speaker 3: about I feel like you're good
Rob Lee: I want to go back to one thing that you touched on you know sort of kind of not or losing yourself creatively as an artist and like not feeling that that was your opinion coming back to it later it's like oh this is my thing and I relate you know I wanted to be an illustrator you have the parents thing right and it's just like you know there's no money in that you're going to go to school for business so that's what I did and I've got a bachelor's of science and business analysts and all that stuff which is great and I still do that and my you sort of day job but I think maybe finding something that was related to arts was the thing and also it's like the othin cleon thing you don't just cut off pieces of yourself they're always going to be there you're going to feel like something's missing it's like that's fandom lens syndrome and I you know wanted to be an illustrator didn't really work out didn't go to school for it right and then was interested in rap as I said and filmmaking and just all of these different things that I kept getting that nudge and that call but I was thinking through it through a lens of not creating to create but is this going to make money how am I going to do this and so on and that really wasn't my idea of my thinking so in doing I've been a podcaster since 2009 and really there was not much of a scene and figuring it out and exploring on my own and in doing this podcast and being able to speak with folks such as yourself I've been able to glean some of the insights off of you creative types you are just types to understand like oh okay this isn't too dissimilar and one of the cool things that I was able to do and doing this podcast it gave me the juice to sort of explore other things I was sharing with you one project that I'm working on but there's one that I've been able to kind of re-explore and go back into I'm writing a comic now I'm not illustrating it I'm not doing all this stuff for it but I'm writing the comic so I'm going back to something that I wanted to do but doing it from a different perspective so you don't really leave it I don't think and and I think that's important because when it's something that I think we're doing with young folks before we get these sort of well maybe you should do this or other people are giving you feedback you know like I knew I wasn't a business guy I wasn't going to climb the corporate ladder um the jobs and stuff that I had early on for down here in DC really yeah
Xenia Gray: you were commuting here I was oh wow
Rob Lee: and I was like I don't know if I have it that's a long haul like retirement 45 years oh wow can't fade it you can't do it no so it's just a desire to do something that I think you feel like you're getting something out of whether it thinks thanks to your soul if you will and that sort of kind of not religion but almost spiritual way
Xenia Gray: yeah yeah I mean the the reason I like I went like well now I'm considering that I am pretty much deep into my art like I'm taking it very seriously now
Rob Lee: you know podcasts obviously
Xenia Gray: exactly I'm doing that because I have no choice like it's not because I one day I decided oh I just like it so much so I'm just gonna continue I'm just gonna do it I really have no choice like I've gotten to the point where if I don't create I am a miserable person uh do I want to say that doing anything else besides art is wrong no it's not like I do have a I also have a day job like I do user experience I do branding design which you know I enjoy doing that too and I think it's a responsible way to create art because in our environment we don't live in you know in mid-century where like Leonardo da Vinci or Michelangelo they had patrons they had uh rich families that would take care of them and they would take care of their bills and everything they would just have to pay and it's just not like that I'm not saying it's not possible obviously they're famous artists who who made it who did it and it's great but it doesn't mean that that model is the only right model for you it's absolutely fine and especially a lot of people a lot of artists what they don't realize is uh let's say they one day they decide to go full time and into art sure what I've seen a lot is once you start relying on your art for paying bills it will take away that passion like it will take away that that that feeling of being absolutely present during creating art if you start relying on your art for you know for yes for just paying your
Rob Lee: bills I relate so so much and that's such a really good point for making where you know this this is not this is journalism this anthropology it's art adjacent but when I'm in a spot like people don't understand like podcasts cost money to make and they cost time and so on and you know we're we're doing both if I can't quite take that leap that's like I'll be a full time this is like not yet
Speaker 3: I look at those numbers yeah but when I'm doing something that feels like this could
Rob Lee: the let's say money I make from doing this particular project let's say someone wants me to host a series of interviews or someone wants me to do an event like at a hotel or something like this to activate the hotel um it's I really think about it and it's like all right the cost is the cost whatever where they're going to pay me is what they're going to pay me or whatever I asked for is what I asked for um but what part of me and my love for doing this do I lose from doing that as I shared earlier this is over 800 episodes of doing this so I have to like it you know what I mean of course yeah so if it's one of those things of it's just a job you can't fake curiosity you can't fake interest and sort of that volume of it and when you start doing these things that feel like they're you know I teach my students this on teaching podcasting start doing things that it feels like this is specifically for whatever the market let's say advertisers or what have you a bit of maybe your reasons your why for doing it starts to go away because now it's just I need the bread and get the money as much as you can it's a bag if they say but it has to be a series of considerations that go into it to pick to pick what's the right thing to do
Xenia Gray: mm-hmm mm-hmm yeah it's a responsible way in art
Rob Lee: yeah but I see um a few folks in the sort of like graphic lens that they're like yeah I want to work with this this company us like do you know what their values are that kind of counters which your art is what are your considerations the bag is my consideration like I don't know if I need to interview now I'm glad that happened a few times yeah wow it's just like oh man I got a bad case that I don't want to use no more that's what I call it um so I'm gonna I had this next question that I want to ask you um and then I'm gonna go on to specific works mm-hmm so I follow I do my um I'm on Instagram as we all are mm-hmm and I have like a pinned like wall of my favorites and I'm usually taking quotes about process and just people who do you know something creative they could be a painter but it's like usually if they're slightly outside of this is my one lane so one about Ferrell Williams that comes up he makes an observation about distractions to maintain our and it really resonated with me mm-hmm like you know I do this podcast and other people that do podcasts and you know say hey so how many how many downloads that you get I don't even care about the downloads I care about the conversation right but then suddenly I start caring about the downloads because someone told me yes it's a distraction um so for an artist like yourself who explores like such nuance like emotional landscapes and just his feelings mm-hmm how do you cultivate a safeguard so does your curiosity amidst like these constant distractions of modern life social media and how does that connect to your your process
Xenia Gray: mm-hmm uh distractions is my major issue yeah uh it is definitely my major issue for sure from being present from creating from being productive and I live in an environment where it doesn't help another thing with distractions it's not just distracts you from what you're supposed to be doing it also you start comparing obviously and if you want to ruin something come ruin the best thing you just compare it to something else
Rob Lee: you know your work is not like this person's work so thanks now now I'm upset
Xenia Gray: yeah I mean I do it's it's a balance it's uh you kind of with art of course like your art has to be yours and it has to be authentic sure uh but you also have to know where it fits in the landscape of the art in general like where does it land well what what's uh how do you describe your art you kind of have to know what it is uh and you have to be careful obviously if you just purely follow the trends you're not going to go far uh and you know like if we go deeper into that and this is just my personal experience it's not just my personal experience I would say those things such as like your following trends comparing it's all it's a ego pitfalls and working on your ego is it's it is a spiritual work um however you do it it doesn't like with me I uh you know I I do feel like my ego is the most controlled now than it has ever been and that's why my art is very distinctive it's very distinctive it's authentic it's um I don't lose myself into comparing my art to something else and thinking oh is this gonna is this gonna sell is this gonna attract more attention is this does it follow the trends I definitely fell into those ego pitfalls for sure like I that's why I'm much more successful now uh than I was and when I say successful I don't mean that I'm like a well sellable artist it's not what I mean it's uh success is um I just love what I do and I I I'm very satisfied with what I'm doing and that's something I didn't have before uh because like before uh when my art was very much ego driven uh after first two solo shows I had really really bad downfalls like I would feel really down because I felt like I well what ego does is basically you start having expectations you like think oh okay I have this solo show I accomplished and you wait for something to happen but it doesn't happen and you fall really down because because because of all of those expectations and that's uh you know I started realizing that I started realizing um there's something off because I kept having creative blocks uh I would uh yeah I would not be like fully satisfied I would still have times where I would not paint for a long time now I don't have it anymore like I don't have this problem I paint because I know the reason I paint is because I just need to I I just enjoy the process and I'm staying as present as I can possibly be during my art process and this is the key to any success in the creative field whether you are a musician whether you're an artist you have to know that you well you have to just be in the process fully you have to be fully present and that's something I didn't have before and I have to do a lot of work uh you know that's uh well we can talk about it a little bit like that the work is with my the great silence my latest exhibition and then I went to like a silent retreat and and there are a lot of things but yeah we let's not run too fast
Rob Lee: and that's coming up next that's actually the next question um but I wanted to ask you um just to insert this um going back to sort of being authentic um you know I I see this I as far as the podcast link and you know we're told to follow trends we're told to look at all of these different things I'm in a kind of class I gotta do my own thing and I I find that being authentic even in the process of how I edit these or how I have these podcasts edited um I keep in the conversation I keep in the ums I keep in those imperfections because that feels like a real conversation it's not this highly polished packaged thing it's done well and the intent is done well but yeah I'm gonna say something and like you said something different last episode damn I forgot it or you know maybe there's a part that runs a little bit long it's just like no this is something that's authentic and when the market or the audience because we're always against attention especially with how social media works nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd
Xenia Gray: nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd
Rob Lee: nd nd nd nd co-host at the time and I was just ready to take it to the sort of next level. I was like, man, 10th anniversary, man, 10th of the round number. It's important, man.
I'm doing this for my health. I was on one. And as you remember, he said to me, and it was, it was just doing the work, by the way. It wasn't just, you know, popping off. He said something to me because he didn't know how to address it or communicate that it may not have been the same for him. He was just telling me my ego was out of control. And I was just like, it's not. And I knew, I knew that. I knew that it wasn't. But I remember I said, something akin to if you're not ready for the ride and you're going to go on a train.
Speaker 4: So like this is a train.
Xenia Gray: Yeah. Why did you say that? Just weird jealousy.
Rob Lee: We're no longer friends. I should put it that way.
Speaker 4: No. Yeah. But, um, yeah, it's sort of the thing in being very protective of it and very like, this is my thing. And it's like, I'm the one that does it in the opportunities and the feeling to all of the things that come from it, the good and the maybe not ideal, except all of them.
Rob Lee: So I want to move in because you teased it. You teased, you teased the great silence. You treat, you treat, you tease the retreat, right? As well. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Rob Lee: So let's, let's talk about the great silence a bit. Give us, give us a little bit of the details for folks who might not be aware because I've been following, but I feel like it's more important to help the artist say it in their word.
Xenia Gray: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. It's, so the great silence is, silence is the name of my last exhibition, my last solo exhibition, which happened in December in Healier Gallery. Which is the result of my spiritual development and why great silence and it's a long story how I, how that happened. But my journey, yeah, it was very long, like how I got there and why it's like this.
Actually, I came up with that name in 2023. I walked, maybe you've heard, there is a very famous pilgrimage is called, it's called Camino de Santiago de Compostelo. It's a, it's a famous pilgrimage. Basically, you walk, there are different walks and they all lead to Santiago.
Santiago is a city in Spain and it's a third Christian mecca after Jerusalem and Rome. And that walk is actually, it's been around since 11th century, 11th, 12th century. And people who do that walk, they do it for a reason. Like they, they all have some kind of reason. And my reason was, I knew that I had to do it. Like I knew that I had to do my spiritual kind of like a journey and my development, which is a lot related to my mom who passed away five years ago, but we're not going to go there.
It's too much for now. Anyway, so I was walking for a week, 30 kilometers per day with my backpack, with my friends. And you know, the physical work, it does a lot to you. Like you start realizing a lot of things. Well, first of all, when you get tired and you physically work so much, you, you don't have any distractions in your head. Like you are so in it, you are physically like so in your body, so present that you start receiving a lot of messages. You know, like you, you start realizing a lot of things, not just realizing, you actually work.
This is a spiritual work too. You walk for 30 kilometers with your backpack. And anyway, so a lot, a lot of things happen during the walk because you also, you meet people who are there for a reason. And I mean, I saw sick people walking and then hoping for, for a cure. And a lot, a lot of very great things happen.
But we're not, we're not talking about that. We're talking about the how I came up with the concept for the great silence is after me and my friends, we accomplished the walk. And we went back to, I was walking from Portugal, we went back to Portugal to Porto and we went to a museum there, art museum.
And we had, there was this exhibition and they had this film showing in that museum. And they were talking about about animals that are instinct. And they were talking about the concept of the great silence, which is also called Fermi paradox. So Fermi paradox is basically, it's, you know, scientists, they were thinking, you know, and they've been talking about why can't we humans find life outside of the earth? And, and there are a lot of different theories. And one of the theories, like, the life does exist.
They just hiding from us because they don't want to be harmed by us. Or, and there are a lot of theories. And, but the point is, it really hit me that in my, in my art, in general, like, I'm looking for that connection. I'm looking for that connection either with some kind of like a higher power, you can say, or between people. And it's not only that the great silence, I have two meanings there. It's about finding a connection, but also the silence in you, which really helped me to propel as a person in life. But that's, that's another step in, in my spiritual development. So once I decided, okay, so my, my solo exhibition is going to be called the great silence.
And I'm going to basically create art for that, which it did happen in December. And then after my solo exhibition was over, actually, no, it was not even over. I left right before it was over.
So I left basically before Christmas, before Christmas, I left and I went to the silent retreat. It's called the pastana. It's, it's, I really didn't plan it. Like, it just happened on its own. It's so funny.
I mean, obviously, like, you know, there are no coincidences in life. And I literally went into the great silence. I, yeah, after that exhibition, I just went for 10 days retreat in Colombia. And every day I was waking up at 4am. And I would start meditating at 4 30am. And yeah, you kind of, you have breakfast at 6 30am, then lunch at 6 at 11 30am. And then after that, you don't have any food.
And every day it would be like this, like this very like a harsh vegan diet and just meditating 10 hours per day. And honestly, this is the best experience, the best development. Like, I just, I cannot tell you how much I gained from that. And I really, that great silence, I really felt it. Like it's that I'm hearing,
Rob Lee: I'm hearing like, sort of, depths and extremes when you talk about walking as many the distance or the sort of meditation and what I'm hearing with both of these examples, that it's a point of clarity for you that comes internal and sort of being, I guess, away from that noise, those distractions that sort of modern living leads one into.
That's really, that's really good. Like, I know for me, and one of the, I'm a wanderlust, right? So I have the opportunity to travel, even if it's something coming down here for a day to do some work. One, I feel super productive to my sort of what's right there. That's always the nuisance, the nag, whatever. And I didn't even think about it because I'm on to the next thing. And I find like, if it's a place that I'm not familiar with, or from doing something that's a lot different, then I got to have one of these with, I got to have a notepad with me because I'm writing down ideas. You know, I was sharing the project earlier that I want to work on, that was one of like, four ideas that just hit me yesterday morning that I had to build out and write out.
And I just have to get it down. And I find when I'm away from that noise and that distraction, because we do scroll, we do these different things that you need that silence, that period of clarity. Absolutely. And so I want to ask this one question that came up, there's a color that came up a lot in the work, the color green, right? Yeah, the significance of that. And as far as in like, the visual language and any other sort of themes that pop up, because I feel like there's another theme, I want to say it's hands, but I could be wrong. But what are those those items that show up in the Great Highlands?
Xenia Gray: Yeah, so about visuals, yeah, I mean, you noticed that correctly, like, it's now I have a lot of green color. And it's because, you know, I didn't consciously make that choice, I actually never make choice for my art, it just happens on its own. And I noticed the patterns after I create.
So it's never like, oh, I wake up and I'm like, oh, okay, so now I like color green, no, it doesn't ever work like this. Actually, my self awareness. Yeah, it kind of came. It came to me after people started pointing out to certain things. Once I discovered my style, my art voice, which is also related to spirituality, I discovered that in my meditation, actually, that style, that voice. In the beginning of like, yeah, if you go back on my Instagram, you can see I didn't paint faces. Again, not because I didn't like painting faces, or I'm just not good at portraits, it's just, and I didn't know that I was not painting faces. People asked me, they're like, why don't you paint faces?
And I was like, oh, yeah, for real, I don't paint faces. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But and then I remember once, actually, after, yeah, I was kind of working on myself and doing a lot of things like to know myself. I, and I was getting into a better point in my life. I started painting faces and it happened kind of unexpectedly, not that unexpectedly. Again, I was not aware of it.
It was just kind of happening on its own. So yeah, that's my art literally kind of follows my personal life. So like before, yeah, I was not painting faces.
My colors were, they did not have green colors. They were much more dramatic. I mean, there's still dramatic, like I still use a lot of like white and black contrast. But back then it was much more dramatic, like the poses of people and the themes of loneliness and themes of being disconnected were very prevalent in my art.
Now you can see a lot of people who are much more successful at being connected to each other. That's why like you can see a lot of groups of people in my art. And I started painting faces and the colors changed. The colors changed after it was actually after I discovered yoga. Yeah, I discovered yoga.
Actually, this last summer, so in July of 2024, and it did amazing things for me. It's really it's about like being present and all those things. And then I realized, yeah, I really want to do the Pasana, which is the silent retreat. And which made things even better for me. Like now I'm like, I don't know, I have never been so content. And again, you kind of can sense it in my art, like yeah, by using green colors. Yeah, there's still some you can still sense some kind of like a dramatic mood there, but it's more like a healed pain. I guess it's just kind of like hints that it's there, but it's healed, like if you compare it to my previous art.
Rob Lee: So I'm hearing this and thank you. I'm hearing this just growth that's there, just having these experiences. And you know, you threw in yoga, I was waiting for yoga to pop up. I have this other practice I engage in. And I just think it just and maybe I'm wrong, but I think it helps just everything kind of together to help like unblock sort of what may be blocked fanatically, or just the desire to do like work at a certain pace will have you. I think that there's something in it when we get blocked. We might be to make work, we might be doing stuff, but it's just like, am I reaching it to the potential in which I want to live that I know is there?
And can I go deeper? And I think having sort of these retreats, the practicing yoga and just getting in touch with who you are internally, I think that that aids in that pursuit.
Xenia Gray: Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, that's why everything started changing for me. And honestly, I wish I discovered yoga earlier. Like I just, I mean, the thing is not that I like, of course, I knew about yoga, but the thing is, I feel like yoga is so commercialized in the western world. And I always thought that, you know, I just cannot fit in into environment when women go wearing their lulu lemon fans and there is no chance I can fit in, you know, but anyway, so, but I mean, I do yoga, but it's, I don't really, I don't go to the studio, like I have, I just do it on my own.
And no, it's amazing thing. It's like it did a lot to me, but on top of that, I did a lot of practices. Like I told you, like meditation therapy, of course, which is also another huge thing for me, especially being a Russian, because in Russia, I mean, we still have this weird stereotype. Like if you do therapy, there's something wrong with you. Now I have a different perception. If you've never done therapy, there is something wrong with you.
Rob Lee: It's true. I'll share this with you after we hit, because I have a few Russian references for you that I enjoy. That are ridiculous. So I got one more real question and a couple rapid fire questions.
I want to run by you. So, you know, we're here in DC, we're recording at even the hotel. They've opened up a place for us. This is a place that kind of pushes for these artistic connections.
They have the workshop around there to create a kickback, all of that good stuff. How has being in DC, let's say recently, kind of influenced your work or how you go about your work or just maybe being in a round of the artist?
Xenia Gray: DC for me is a very, like this is, for me, DC is a place where I started taking my art seriously, where I started exhibiting my art. And also, it's such a, how do I put this? It is such a contrasting, contrasting, the city, it's a very government, very capitalistic.
We live in the heart of capitalism. And my art is not about that at all. And the way I found a way to not be affected by that is that, yeah, I do feel like it's a big achievement. And, you know, DC has an art community. I mean, we all know each other. I mean, that's how you and I know each other. We know the same people.
And I really like that DC is a, it's a, a, a, named art community. Like, it's not like in New York, you know, like I go to New York and I feel like I'm nobody. Here it's more like we kind of like know each other. We have a community. We, you know, I, you know, I, I don't really see like those huge egos here, you know, so for me, it's a great environment. It is very different from where I'm from. But I mean, it's a very important city, it's a very important place to be in.
Rob Lee: That's good. I will say before we got up this morning, I was coming in to book the studio and the person at the front desk like, so who you interviewing today? Podcast man. I was like, you know, I've got this, got this Russian artist that's coming by.
Speaker 3: He said, oh, you got Russian artists coming by.
Rob Lee: I said, yeah. So it's, it's, it's, I'm throwing out the nail. I said, you know, I got a senior grad coming on and it's like, oh, oh, really? So they know who you are.
Speaker 4: Really? Yeah. Wow. So I want to run by a couple rapid fire questions. Is the, you know, tradition on this podcast, I got three of them and as I'll tell everyone, don't overthink these.
Xenia Gray: Oh, I will not. I mean, I'm not prepared for this podcast whatsoever.
Speaker 3: So what is a skill, and you might have touched on this earlier, what is a skill that most people based on maybe your persona or your art, they might not think that you have? I used to do comedy.
Xenia Gray: Yeah. I was, I did a lot of acting and I did comedy skits. That's something like I said, like you can't really see it in my art. My art is not funny, you know, like it's, you know, it expresses one aspect of me, which is, yeah, emotions, which I don't usually express. Well, I mean, I don't, I don't want to, like, I'm not a robot. No, it's not what I'm trying to say, but like if it's negative melancholic emotions, I don't know how to express, like I'm always, I don't know. I want to be expressing vulnerability is very hard for me.
Rob Lee: Yeah, I understand. Yes. Yeah, yeah. I have emotions. I'll have to get out of here.
Xenia Gray: Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I used to, that's my skill. Like I joke much more outside of my art than in my art. Yeah.
Rob Lee: That was a softball for you. I was already kind of new. I was like, she's gonna say it.
Speaker 3: She's gonna say the thing. She did.
Rob Lee: So one of the pieces that I found your Instagram was, is still from one of my favorite movies. So I got to ask you, what is your favorite movie?
Xenia Gray: Oh, okay. So the thing is, I don't watch anything. I don't have a TV at home.
Rob Lee: Well, in life though, so like in life.
Xenia Gray: I mean, if I reference any movie, like, literally, it's gonna be from my very, very past.
Rob Lee: I'm talking about the professional, which is 31 years old.
Xenia Gray: Okay. So why don't we, okay, I'll tell you one of a very few movies that I watch. And this is another thing you probably not gonna see in my art. And perhaps judging on my personality, you will probably not guess that.
But one of my favorite movies are cheesy Christmas movies. I wouldn't have guessed that. I know.
I know, but I love Christmas spirits, Christmas movies. And last year I went with my son to a movie theater to watch the red one. It's called the red one. Yeah. And I just love that movie. I know there's, it's not deep. It's not like my art is so far away from things like that. But that's, I love that.
Rob Lee: There are snowmen that are attacking the rock in that movie, I believe.
Xenia Gray: Yeah. There's all kind of stuff going on. You like sit there in that movie theater present the whole time because there's so much stuff going on.
Rob Lee: I absolutely will share my favorite movie with you after we arrived because it's ridiculous. So here's the last one I got for you. So we're down here, DC, and it has this sort of like, melting pot vibe. Just one of the things I enjoy. I take strolls around embassies. I just go around and say, all right, yeah, yeah, embassies looks maybe like your architecture back home or have, yeah, yours don't look that good.
I think you got such a small one. So I think one of the ways to connect culture is through food. So I got to ask you, what is your favorite dish? You do eat, right?
Xenia Gray: Because you don't want to tell me. I eat a lot.
Rob Lee: Okay. So what is your favorite dish to make?
Xenia Gray: Oh, I make so many dishes. I do cook. Yeah, I mean, it's because I like eating healthy and I grew up on home food, you know, like it's on homemade food.
My favorite dish to make, there are so many and so many different cuisines and not to be very stereotypical, but I really like morsch, which is this red beet soup, you know, Russian soup. And I know it sounds super stereotypical, but it's just so different. Like I cannot find anything like that here in US. I mean, because it sounds so lame to Americans, it beats, it's potatoes, it's cabbage, like why would you eat that? But for us, for Russians, we love this. And I have to make it because I can't find it anywhere else.
Rob Lee: It was another softball. Like I didn't give you much there. You gave me exactly the response I was looking for. It's like, you can't find it. It's like, thank you.
You said this, this is great. And it sounds delicious. I've heard it before.
Really? Yeah, I like potatoes, I like cabbage. And I can like beets. I can get into beets.
The only beets I know is the band that plays the song Killer Koku. That's a reference you're probably not going to get, but that's all I have for today. So there's two things I want to do. One, I want to thank you for coming on to this podcast and spend some time. And two, I want to invite and encourage you to share with the listeners, social media, website, all that good stuff. The floor is yours.
Xenia Gray: Yeah, thank you. Thank you. I really enjoyed it. And it's my first podcast. Yeah, and it's really nice to connect with you as someone who's been working with so many creatives. Thank you.
Rob Lee: Yeah. So which website? Where can I find you? Where can I follow you?
Xenia Gray: Just XeniaGray.Art. Yeah, it's my website. Yeah.
Rob Lee: And there you have it, folks. I'm going to again thank Xenia Gray for coming on to the podcast. Long time coming. Super happy to be with you, connect and have a deep and insightful conversation. And for Xenia Gray, I'm Rob Lee saying that there's art, culture and community. In and around your neck of the woods, you just have to look forward.
