Rob Lee: Welcome to The Truth in this Art. Your source for conversations at the intersection of arts, culture and community. These are stories that matter and I am your host, Rob Lee.
Thank you so much for joining me. Today we're running it back and I'm bringing back on an accomplished relationship expert, voice artist and multimedia personality. I first interviewed her back in 2022 and I am eager to have her back on the program to catch up and hear about what she's got going on. Please welcome back to the program, LaDawn Black. Welcome back to the podcast.
LaDawn Black: Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be back.
Rob Lee: I'm excited to have you back. It's always a treat. It's always a pleasure to connect with like an actual professional media personality. I'm hanging around in the minor league. I'm a D-league, right? I'm a D-league, you know, doing that. I haven't made it up to the league. I might get a 10-day contract.
LaDawn Black: Oh, whatever. You're already mainstream, already there. But I appreciate you being humble, but we know The Truth.
Rob Lee: Sometimes you get me at the right time. I'm gasping myself up. It's just like, it's petrol. It's wild. But it's truly a privilege and pleasure to have you back on. And before we get into like sort of the deeper questions and catch up a bit, for those who are undebbed unfamiliar and, you know, haven't listened to the first one, which they should, could you reintroduce yourself and share with us with you? But up to you, please. Sure.
LaDawn Black: LaDon Black Relationship Expert Radio Personality in the Baltimore Area for a number of years. I was the host of a relationship, relationship show. See me now, can't even talk. Relationship show in Baltimore, late night, number one show for a million years. Love advice, a lot of fun, sexy questions, sexual positions, all that good stuff.
I get hit with all the time. I grew up listening to you and I'm like, I don't know if that's a good thing, but thank you for listening. So did that for a number of years. I was on air in New York, on WBLS for a number of years. I've written books on relationships, love, sex relationships, erotic novel, all that good stuff. And right now, just trying to figure out what the next stage is.
I'm going to be Rob Lee. So really thinking about sort of, you know, creating my own spaces to sort of talk about love in relationships, then sex as well. But from a different perspective, from a perspective of a divorcee, from the perspective of someone in their middle ages, what does that look like? How do you get bold again and try for love again? And that's what I'm wearing now.
Rob Lee: Good stuff. That is good stuff. And it kind of, you know, is a nice follow-up to our previous conversation. We were in person previously. So this one is, this one's remote. We were in like the media space and I was just like, oh man, there's TVs and stuff here. And so one of the things that I remember from the previous conversation, it was kind of queued up a little bit in your introduction there of, you know, presenting who you are, you know, presenting that authentic self. So like, how is your, well, I guess first, what is your sort of definition or understanding of authenticity and, you know, has that evolved in the past few years and how has it impacted how you go about your work?
LaDawn Black: You know, authenticity is important. I mean, I realized that a billion years ago when I first got on the air, involved more that people want to know who you are. So yes, you can give love advice, then you can sit and you can get tips and you can listen to their issues and you can do love dedications, but they want to know who they're talking to. So, you know, at that point it was, oh, well, you know, I'm married woman, I have children, I have the same challenges that you have trying to keep the sexy going while also having a career and a relationship and all that stuff. And I think that that really helped people sort of gel with me because they were like, well, wait a minute, she's not just talking about this stuff.
She is experiencing these things as well. And so as sort of my love advice has evolved and my life has changed, I still want that authenticity to be there because I think there's a huge push right now to here and find out, well, what's next? So if you've had these long-term relationships and those relationships didn't work out for whatever reason, what's next? You know, do I date online? Do I actually put myself out there? Do I just dedicate myself to raising my kids and just staying at home and I until all of that's done? You know, do the men get better if they get older?
Should I date younger? So it's all of these different things along with, you know, sort of that looks, questions you, you know, how do I stay relevant, how do I keep my brain relevant, my spirit relevant, my body relevant? I'm back on the market again at a point where I didn't think I was going to be. So having those types of conversations and what I'm finding now is that I found a new audience, an expanded mode audience. The audience that's grown up with me is they're dealing with these things, maybe in their 30s and 40s at this point.
And then there's a whole group of people who are 40 plus who are like, I am there and I'm trying to figure this out because we don't age the way our parents age, you know, our parents were truly grandmas and granddaddies at 40 and we're not there. So we're not willing to just pack it all up and not think about love, sex and relationships. And so that's sort of where I've evolved and where the authenticity sort of keys in or connects with people. Because I'm talking about things that people want to talk about every day.
Rob Lee: That's so true. Like I find and thank you. And I'm talking about, you know, and doing this and doing as many interviews as I've had, you know, over the five plus years at this point of doing it, folks will see me in the street and they're like, oh, we know you because you said the words and all of the stuff, you know, all of the words and all of these. I don't have words.
But sort of there's a, you know, sort of a connection or familiarity there that folks kind of hear in AC. And, you know, a lot of times like folks may not recognize me when I've lost some weight over the last couple of years, but also just they think I'm short, you know, that's another thing which, you know, that is not true. He's not short. But he just box and they're like, it'll be people I've interviewed. They're like, oh, that's not right.
Oh, that is Rob. As soon as I talk, because they kind of gravitate towards and and it is, it is funny to present who you are. I think early on in this disorder logo behind me in the visual, this was not my original logo, right? So as I go back through and look at old interviews, some, some kind of very beginning, like I wanted the last interviews. I did last week was the first guest that I ever had on. So it was like, at a very beginning and he's had a lot of stuff that's changed. I've had some stuff that's changed that we're sharing that. But this logo was not the original logo. This is a picture of me that I thought fit the whole.
This is what you do if you're trying to do an interview podcast and show the city as a landscape in the background. And I don't even, you know, believe in that. So I was like, this is more of my ethos and there have been instances where folks have come to me and said, hey, maybe you should change that. Maybe you should do this.
Maybe you should do that. And I was like, no, that's an authentic. That's not me.
I was like, I'm riding this wave. I'm the person that has to do it and I'm sticking with this and I can at this stage in doing this along do the storytelling with why this matters.
LaDawn Black: This is really important. You have to stay on top of what you are and what your original mission was in your creative space. I think it's really important to do that.
Rob Lee: And I mean, it may stretch a little bit as the change of again, going back to some of those older interviews, I'm like, whoa, I was bugging in the beginning of some of these. And now it's just like, it's very much a refined tone.
There's, you know, you know, some peaks of values that pop out of like, all right, I'm popping off a little bit. But there are other instances where it's just like, this is more of a conversation and it has it's sort of like flow that really works. And I think that there's a consistency that's been built over that time, but still based in a level of authenticity and it feels like it's a conversation. And that's why folks connect to it. Absolutely.
LaDawn Black: Absolutely. And I think too, especially when you're in a space where you're public and you probably understand this as well, to be inauthentic, you'll get caught up. So you can't present one person and then the people meet you and they're like, because we've all heard the stories of the person who presents themselves very, very nicely.
We're very, very nasty in person. Or, you know, let's just take this relationship to the person who has all the great tips. But then you find out all of them that are embroiled in in their own relationships. And you're like, well, maybe I shouldn't have taken that advice or listened to that, you know, that bit of information or even been a fan of that person. So authenticity is important in that way as well.
Rob Lee: And you might be teasing something we'll be talking about in a bit, but I'm moving to this next question. Kind of building upon that previous piece. You know, I think it's connection that always wins always that pursuit for it. And, you know, that that approach to connection, how is that change with connecting to your audience since sort of, you know, the last interview, especially with the sort of media. Landscape changing. I know for me, you know, the whole notion of building a podcast and building the community has changed at a breakneck pace. So what it takes to sort of connect with someone is a lot different online than it was back in 2019 when this thing started. It's almost like you have to be a content creator versus I just do this thing and I do other things that are connected to it. But the main thing is just the main thing.
LaDawn Black: I think for me where it's really sort of changed is really sort of leaning in to that interacting piece. You know, people want to hear from you. So yes, you can put a great video out there. You can put a great image out there.
You can put up a great tip, but they want to see you in the comments too. You know, I had this opinion about what you said. Oh, wait a minute. She actually responded. You know, that stuff matters to people also showing the parts that aren't perfect. You know, so you have a great picture on one day, but
Rob Lee: then they have the next post you like when you know, to hear what I'm working with me today. So we all check the hair out, right?
LaDawn Black: It's given a sense of authenticity. It's letting people know that you're a human. Yes, you have this, you know, skill set where you have this amount of information, you know, this knowledge that you can impart to people. But also, you know, you're still a mom who's rushing out the door in the morning and your stuff isn't straight all the time.
Your house is always neat. You know, everybody isn't always acting like they're supposed to be acting. You know, those types of things, it lets people know that, yes, I can be a fan of yours, but also you are like me.
And I think that that's really where media sort of switched is that we don't necessarily have these like media guides anymore. These people that you don't know anything about them other than what they present. People want to know everything about you.
Rob Lee: Yeah, I get caught up a lot of times with this, especially just podcasting, the thing that I've been doing that, you know, is presented like, you know, as far as the online thing is online life and that, you know, then the not online life. And I try to be as close to a who I am online and through this as I am in real life. It might be turned up a little bit, but it's not like this is just a different person.
That's just not not the case. I find like a lot of times, even in the editing process that folks engage in when they're editing a podcast for sake of argument, it's too clean, it's too refined. And in the translation of it, it's lost. It's like, it's not a conversation here. That's just a question and answer. There's no, um, there's no imperfection. There's no like, this time laughs or those lives that are, you know, would engage in.
And, you know, that's, that's the thing because I think that is, that is the real thing. And, you know, some of those early interviews, I'm glad I wasn't using video from those early interviews because, you know, this was this podcast kind of blew up in 2020. And you boy didn't have a barber. My Dominican barber left, right? So I had the wild left to hold hair going. It was like, it was, it was like crazy. I was like, nah, I don't want to present this as who I am now. Now the expectation is, oh, there's slick Rob right there. It is not.
LaDawn Black: And, and, and there's this other thing I think that, you know, with being public, there is sort of this, this courage that's needed, right? I still get the, the stage fright. I don't really get on stage often.
I get the nerves and you want to do well, right? I remember a few years back, I went to see Beyonce and the user to the question is doing Renaissance and the question was, you know, presented it was like, you know, do you think she still gets nervous? And I was like, yeah, because it matters.
LaDawn Black: Yeah.
Rob Lee: And, you know, I was like, I get nervous for this little small and comparison thing that I do because it matters to me. It has so much. And I think that it takes a bit of courage to go out there and just make something create, even if it's not good every time or if it's not perfect every time. So for you, where does that courage to get out there, make your work, have the conversations that you're having and then be sort of that resource for many people in that relationship. So how they navigate through this place.
LaDawn Black: You know what, I do think it's courageous. I think even for people that we say, well, they've been doing it for so long and they've been doing it at such a level, there's no way that she can get or he's, you know, should be getting nervous at this point. You still do because you still want to do well. And I think that's an important part of it. And you often want to beat yourself.
You want to be better than you, you know, you want to be better every time, right? So for me, I just love talking to people about the stuff that we don't like to talk about. And so my thing was talking about relationships, love and sex was one to be informative and to provide quality information.
Because when I first got on the air, I realized that a lot of parents were not talking to their children about the basic sexual stuff, the basic dating stuff. And so I was able to do that. And that was really important for me. And then also I wanted to be that best girlfriend for the ladies out there who had thoughts about relationships, love and sex. It really didn't have a place to put them because in this, you know, this was free all the online experts.
So literally if you weren't buying a book or watching Oprah or, you know, whatever talk show of the day was most popular during that time, you really didn't have a form to talk about relationships as a woman. So I really wanted to provide that. And then also I wanted to lift our brothers up and lift men up a little bit because I was also sort of that era where, you know, all every problem was a man's problem, right? So every love, sex and relationship issue, it was the man's fault, right?
And I just didn't see it that way. So I really enjoyed being able to talk about it from a male perspective and to have our women have a little bit more grace with guys. And then talking about non-traditional relationships, polyamory, you know, LGBTQIA plus relationships, things like that, being able to talk to them on a platform that reached everyone. So that really kept me in the space. It made me feel that the work that I was doing was important. Plus I like having fun with people.
It's a weird thing. I'm an introvert, but on air I'm very extroverted. And so I always tell people as my friends. So that's where I had my community.
So I would go in every night. You could do the radio thing. I would have some people who would call every night, people who would call once a week, but it really was community for me. And so it really was my outlet and it continues to be my outlet and my connection to people because I just think that sometimes we need to have better dialogue, especially in those spaces.
Rob Lee: Yeah, 100%. And as I think about it and key in on this idea of community, I think that's always the thing that just really gets one over the hump. And I think that's the thing that maybe like cockroaches will be here because all of this stuff because.
LaDawn Black: We like talking to each other. We do. As much as we say, I don't want to be bothered. We're social people. We like to connect.
Rob Lee: And I think that, you know, especially in this sort of landscape and I was sharing with you that I was, you know, recently at Owen Airfest. And, you know, you can kind of see where some of these lapses are and how, you know, things are presented that it's just a once in a lifetime and we'll be anointed and it's just like, sure, you know, maybe, but after, you know, and it's a certain demographic that is presenting that narrative.
And once the smoke clears and, you know, sort of the algorithms reset, I don't know if you actually, you know, have a community and have a base, you have bots that are supporting your thing. And I listen to these things just to make sure that I'm solid in my assessment and pretty good. And, and I think it's sort of what I'm getting at is not necessarily sour grapes or like, oh, you got something that I want or whatever it is. But it's more of a, I don't know who your audience is.
I don't know what community you're building, you know what I mean? And that's the thing that I look for when I see, you know, when I take a stroll through Baltimore and encounter four or five different people, or if I'm in a different city, which is even wilder. And I was like, oh, I know you're the guy, you're the Rob Lee guy, you do this podcast, you interviewed this person recently. This is a person. This is a, this is sort of a connection thing, and especially if even this is online or I get a message or anything along those lines, those things feel cool. And I think the overly sanitized, the only perfected, the sort of kind of tech bros with microphones. I see a little bit too much of that and I don't know if it's real. Yeah.
LaDawn Black: And it can't work because I mean, it's easy if you just look at, I mean, a few people who still listen to traditional radio. You know, radio used to have a radio voice. If you listen to radio today, there is no radio voice. Like they want people to have conversation.
They want you to sound, I guess, relatable, you know, because that's polished delivery. You never ever make a mistake. You never ever catch a breath. Nobody's interested in that because they know if you can't keep that up, they know that that's safe. And so to your point, you know, it's important to sort of be yourself and to represent the people in your community in a way that's authentic.
Rob Lee: 100%. So I want to move into sort of one of the things you've been circling around for a little bit. And so with the rise of these highly produced balloon pop matchmaking shows that are, you know, online on socials, the TikToks, the TikToks.
What am I doing? The TikToks, the Instagram. How do you see, you know, the role of relationship dialogue, relationships, experts, relationship discourse evolving? That's the second part to it. I at least want to start there. Oh, boy.
LaDawn Black: You know, the shows are entertaining because I do watch the clips. I don't watch the events right. And that's like, I don't. I don't hate them. But, but, and this is a huge, but I think a lot of times we are taking it entertainment, but taking it in effect. And I think a lot of people are being harmed by it in the sense that, you know, now we're questioning everything based on, you know, a too many clips. You know, so like I was watching one of the balloons, balloon pop shows. And the young woman has deep wrinkles in her face. And so she walks out and all the guys pop your balloons. And so when the lady walks out and she's like, well, why did you pop your balloons? She's like, well, she has wrinkles in her face. And you go to the comments section, you know, watching the clip, you're like, oh, this is just funny, right?
Then you go to the comments section and you have women in there going, well, I have deep wrinkles around my mouth. I mean, does that mean guys aren't going to be interested in me or, you know, or you have this back and forth between men and women about, you know, should he have said anything or why would he dance with me? And so I think what people don't understand is that it's very entertaining. It's funny, but people are really getting relationship lessons from these clips too. And the lessons aren't always good. So we have to be cautious with that.
Rob Lee: Yeah, you know, on that road to the entertainment highway, you know, I think it is a challenge. Like, you know, I find it, I watch these things on occasion. That's stumbled across it. And, you know, some of the things in there that are said don't line up like the always the height thing. I have a buddy who's getting married soon and he's five, six. He was like, I would always hear the short king nonsense. And I was like, that's crazy. I was like, that's really funny.
And or he would say to me, oh, it's easy for you because you're really tall. I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. And I'm just like not privy to these things or where are these things. But then watching something like that gives me although, you know, it's a fictionalized to a degree, I think. But it is the time stamp that someone believes this. And as you're touching on, you look at the comments and it's like, some people really believe this.
LaDawn Black: Oh, yeah. I mean, because you hear the comments all the time. Like one woman walked out and she was just really sitting tall and the guys were just talking about it.
You're tall, so you're not interested in me. And I was just like, we're sort of pitting each other. You know, we're going to just be together instead of sort of figuring out how to do this dating thing there. It's just getting worse. So yeah.
Rob Lee: How could like, you know, that be navigated better from maybe this potentially this next generation or this sort of shift back to more nuanced and more balanced and then conversation around relationships and then discourse. Because again, you know, we're both touching on it that this is it's almost like that disclaimer for entertainment use. Like, don't think you're going to, you know, this this deal with this shirt on that doesn't fit this and he's going to fly you out. That's I don't know if that's going to happen.
LaDawn Black: And then life lessons for you. And I think what you said is really important. One is should be labeled as entertainment, that this is entertainment. This is for entertainment purposes. And then also, I think there's always space for those types of things, but we should also have some other voices that are going viral that are strictly relationship expert voices, people giving quality tips.
Not people sitting on microphones, you know, saying that all men are bad and talking about 5050 and, you know, women trying to figure out how to, you know, what, what hotel party can go to the meet rich men, you know, all that ridiculousness. I think you have to have a balance. Like, there's a place for that, but you have to have balance.
And I think that's really what we're missing now and why people are so broken and can't find LeBron just decided to stop dating because we're getting too much of that and not enough of stuff that actually has some stuff. Yeah.
Rob Lee: You know, and I didn't this is going to be a rapid fire question, but I talk about the corniness factors like sometimes you look at that. But I finally, you know, when I listen to them and just having just awareness and who I am as an individual or just the people that I think that are cool people. And I just see those things and I watch those things, those clips and we're even going further back with like the Kevin Samuels of it all.
And all that. It's just like there's certain degrees of insecurity and folks are looking at because they have a microphone that they can just dunk on people. And it's just like, cool. Like, what are we doing? It's interesting because when you look at the Kevin Samuels clip, I don't
LaDawn Black: want to say he was always 100% wrong because he wasn't. His delivery could be harsh. And I think a lot of times my question came into like as a woman, I would never call like, why are you calling? You know what he does. You know his approach. But you know, if you weren't a really a quote unquote attractive woman, he was going to go in. If you weren't a woman who was earning as much as what you were asking for, he was going to go in on you.
Why are you even calling it? So, you know, we have these voices that are sort of divisive, but we don't have enough voices that kind of say, well, what can we do as many women as partners to kind of bring this thing together?
Rob Lee: Yeah, because you see these stats of like, you know, less and less people. I think it's I think it's mostly Gen Z, maybe just aren't having kids. There aren't they're not going out. They're not drinking. They're not getting a relationship. These these different things people used to meet in bars, I guess. I don't know. But I mean, I'm not, I'm not someone at work, you know what I mean? But it's kind of this thing where the everyone is talking through these things and talking around relationships, but no one really seems happy or in relationships.
And I think a piece of it, a big piece of it is sort of this over, over reliance and too much time being spent on those screens and kind of engaging with sort of this this rhetoric that doesn't align. You know, a first time I've heard the term high value man, it was a very weird time. I was like, what does that mean? I think what do you say?
And I don't know. I kind of just move past it. I was like, we got to live in real life, you know, have a conversation with someone, you know, things of that nature.
LaDawn Black: Absolutely. And I think what we're doing because online dating is the same now. I think we're starting now. And unfortunately that advice is not necessarily coming from doctors, it's not coming from therapists, it's not even coming from people who are sensible or who have had successful relationships. So we're getting people who literally just have a mic and they have an opinion and they're putting it out there. And we're not taking it into account that, you know, have you been hurt in the past? Have you ever seen a successful relationship?
Do you even date women or do you even date men? Because that's the interesting thing too, is that we have some people giving advice and they don't even play in the spaces that they're advising or the people that they're critiquing. So I think we have to get back to, you know, sort of knowing who the person is that's putting the message out. And I think what we found is because a lot of these online experts, you know, have very publicly had relationships blow up. Or, you know, they died in ways that were really, really tragic and odd, you know. We're finding that a lot of times the things that they were telling us to do, they weren't necessarily doing themselves. And so you have to question whether or not I should have really been listening to what you were telling me to do, because clearly your stuff isn't straight either.
Rob Lee: I'll move on to the next thing. I'll say this last piece here. It's always interesting when you find like one of these like black dudes that's like popping off too much, and then you do minimal digging, minimal digging. He's just popping off about black women and suddenly you're like, you don't even think like you have a happy family and they're not sort of like women are involved. You're dunking in black women a lot. And that's not even your lane, my guy.
LaDawn Black: And you're critiquing and you're picking them apart and that's not even what you're interested in. Or, I mean, you could even take it back. I mean, it's people who've written books, who've been married numerous times, but yet they're going to fail a woman to find her ideal man. And I'm like, wait a minute, let's talk to all the women that you've let down in the past and find out where you came up short. So, you know, you have to kind of know who you're dealing with. And it's not that your experts have to be perfect, but they have to be willing to share the stuff that hasn't worked for them as well. And that's where we're lacking because a lot of times the people who are given advice and have the microphones now, you know, they want to tell you where you're wrong, but they won't necessarily share with you where they've been wrong in the past.
Rob Lee: Yeah, that's that's what worked for the two iterations of that two different relationship shows that I did years ago. And, you know, it's just like sort of, you know, bearing it all in. And just folks would chime in with like, no, this is a real conversation.
This is a real thing. And this is before we got to balloon pops and before we got to thick, mustacheed individuals talking about how to keep your, your man happy or whatever. I don't know. And I'm talking about anyone specific.
LaDawn Black: Let me say this. It's not that you can't find value there because I do think that even in people that we make fun of and we say, ooh, you shouldn't really be listening to that person. I think you could still get something out. I mean, even with the balloon pop, you know, I learned things from watching it and things like, well, I didn't know that that was something that people didn't want. You know, like the toe thing that's been a revelation to me because like the women walk out in the guys and like, oh, you got really nice feet. And I'm like, ooh, feet really are a thing, right? I found a new, but now I'm really finding out. So you can't get some good stuff from all of these things, but you just have to be able to sort of take through and take the good stuff and leave the breath of things there. And I think sometimes because, you know, social media moves so fast, we don't always do that.
Rob Lee: I'm an anti-toe guy, so I'm glad I didn't watch that. I was like, yo, what do we talk about here? How are we going on the feet? So I want to switch gears a little bit and move into sort of, and I touched on this before we got started.
The theme for this season is the running back season. And I'm returning to previous guests for a maybe at times, a deeper conversation, a continuation or even maybe even a remedy for a conversation that may have been really good, but I felt so short on my part where it's like, I could ask a better question or, you know, sometimes it's super early where it's like, yeah, I really didn't know what the hell I was doing at the time. That's what the intent is and just using sort of the update. You know, I was maybe in beta stage now, I'm out here now. As you look back at, you know, parts of your careers, they're like, you know, a period where you wanted to maybe go back and it's like, I could do this differently or I'm really proud of this period. And I'm, you know, this was that point of, I can keep riding this way.
Even this is direction I should be going into or maybe the, as I said before, the sort of maybe I'll shift away from this or I want to maybe return to a guest or a conversation sort of in your career.
LaDawn Black: Well, okay, I'll start with what I think worked well. And I think what worked well was the radio show was popping here in Baltimore. It was very popular and then being able to early on, you know, all radio personalities sort of do it now, but to sort of be sort of an early innovator and making sure that I was impressed as well as radio that I had books, you know, that I was doing TV that I was literally everywhere. So I'm very proud of that because I last went to that idea early.
A lot of people don't laugh at that until later in their career when they think it's about to wrap up on the radio and so you're like, Oh, wait a minute. What else can I do? I got that really early and had a really good bribe with that. So that's the one thing I'm always going to be very proud of because I didn't start radio, you know, right out of college. I started a lot later and so I had to ramp up fast. So I'm glad that that was sort of my mind, you know, mindset at that point. And I was able to do a lot of things. As far as things that I probably wish I had done differently, I think really sort of jumped into sort of creating my own spaces. I think that's something that I did come a little late to. I think a lot of times with younger radio hosts, they get it immediately. Like as soon as they get the radio gig, it's like, OK, my social media is only going to be my platform and I'm going to talk to people as much as possible.
And they get that because they were raised in that. And so that's the one thing that if I could go back, I would have started developing my platform a little bit more elaborator.
Rob Lee: Makes sense. That makes sense. And I see more of this sort of shift. There's been conversations around two Internet's right, where you have sort of the AI generated Internet, you do a Google search, you can see it. Right. This is AI generated. And then you have sort of and whatever comes with that AI generated stuff. And then you see the sort of other side of it's more of an exclusive community built, sub-stack oriented sort of lifestyle and more and more folks are moving away from these social media platforms.
X is an example because of, you know, we see who's running things and the curtain's been pulled over. And there is. Right.
That's that's that's a big thing. And, you know, when folks ask me, hey, where can I download the podcast? And so you go to the website, you know, not even, you know, maybe it's easier to find them on this app, but traffic to the website is, I don't have to worry about, you know, something being edited that I didn't want to be edited in a way. I know that YouTube will change your titles if they think that they're too long.
I know that social media will and I think it's something that's driven by YouTube, but they will edit out certain things because they don't want to be demonetized. So things without context. So if the word has, for sake of argument, is in something. Right. Last part of it is a strict out because this can be demonetized. And we're losing meaning.
LaDawn Black: That is true. And you have to be careful with that. And, you know, I like hearing that you sort of create easier space and you push your space like, yes, I'm part of everything where you would typically go to look for things.
But if you want the real thing, come to my website. And I think that's important because what we're finding with a lot of the traditional social media platforms is that people don't even see yourself. You know, the algorithm is that strong. And if you have one piece of content that they consider controversial or doesn't align with sort of what the standard beliefs are of that particular vehicle, you won't be seen at all. So, yes, it's important to sort of maintain your separate space because that's really where people can connect with you without having any of those words.
Rob Lee: 100%. So, I got two more real questions and then I have some rapid-fire questions. So, this first one goes, could you share maybe the last time that you were truly amazed whether it be, you know, from a question, maybe from an interview, maybe from just appreciating some form of art, but just a time where you were just like really amazed, like, wow, how was that made? How did that happen?
LaDawn Black: I'll share too. One is deeply personal and it comes to mind immediately. My son has been a creator on YouTube for a number of years and he's been successful at it. But, you know, I was his mom, I'm like, okay, I'm going to give you this space. I'm not going to really listen to your opinions all day.
But I want you to feel like I can't say certain things to my mom that's listening. And so, recently I just started really listening to his pieces. And I'm like, he's smart and he has a great voice. And he actually has stuff to say.
Like, people don't know that this is a 20 year old, you know, who's kind of spouting off. But I'm like, he's great. And so, that's something that amazed me recently in that I was like, wow, I'm not enjoying it just because he's my son. I'm enjoying it because it's really, really good content. So, that's something that amazed me recently. I guess just something that intrigues me at this point that I'm like, wow, I just need to know more about it. I'm not going to be so silly.
It really is. So, it won't be billboards downtown that I get to put up by someone who does, you know, it's like family planning or something like that. Some nonprofit organization. And so, they had this sign up with these two, like, really, really, you know, they're 15 years, let's say 60, 70, 80s, right? And they're talking about STDs, like in the retirement home.
And they're like, oh, if you're over 60, you need to protect yourself. And I was like, oh my God, is this a thing? And so, I've been delving into it.
Strange things catch my attention and then I've got to know everything about it. But apparently, Rob, I want you to prepare yourself because in about 30 years, this might be something that you might have to think about. When you go to these retirement communities and you live in these, like, 65 and older, especially just the places that sort of you're living in communities so you're not necessarily in your own house, that you're all living in the same condo situation, there is a lot of sex going on. And people are not using condoms because nobody can get pregnant. And there's a lot of disease.
And there's a nonprofit out there that thinks that this is such an issue that they're fundraising and putting support up to let people know to use condoms in their senior years. And I'm like, this is fascinating to me. One, that people even have energy, you know, to simply do anything. We know it exists.
But clearly, it really exists at an higher level. And that, two, do I really need to be talking to my mom and dad about sex? That's like, who wants to have that conversation? So that's something that I'm a little fascinated with. Probably shouldn't be. But I'm like, we clearly need to talk about it because this is an issue.
Rob Lee: Absolutely. I couldn't help but think about and before I move to the first part, that's really great. That's really great when you see like, OK, you out here, you crushing it. You know, all right, son, I see your face. Get on you.
So that's really great to hear. And on the second part, I couldn't help but think of Furious Styles and like Boys and He's like, yeah, I think it's happened for falling off now. I immediately think of that for some reason. I could just see it now. Me talking to my 70 year old dad like, yo, what do you do? You strapping up?
LaDawn Black: He's saying, you're frantic. Oh, my God. So the things that you have to think about. And then I guess the final one I'll share is something that you touched on earlier that I think it's just huge is why are people getting married and having kids? Like, what has happened to that? You know, is it a social thing? Is it a relationship issue thing?
Is it a financial thing? And I just think that that's something that we really need to talk about. You know, have we done such a bad job as parents, you know, as far as showing relationships that people in their 20s and 30s are saying, I don't want no part for none of that. That's what we need to talk about. Because, you know, it's a thing. It's a thing. That is true. It's true.
Rob Lee: And it's, you know, I've seen articles. It was one that I think got a lot of flack and a lot of comments around it. The sentiment in it was just folks who are looking forward to being grandparents. And you could tell, like, their kids weren't really jamming with that idea of like, no, this is really just your ego running wild. And, you know, like, I don't have any kids.
So, you know, it's one of the things that I've heard for years. Like, when are you going to give me some grandkids? I'm like, I don't think you give them.
What are you saying to me? You know, and but it is definitely sort of that, I guess it's a humanistic imperative, like to reproduce and all of that different stuff. But we're not even getting to a lot of times that's that stage where it's like, even like the person, do you even know the person? Right.
LaDawn Black: And I think that people are just cautious now. And then I think also, too, you know, and I actually thought it. People don't feel like that's something that has to define them. You know, I can be with someone for a number of years. I can even be married to someone for a number of years. And we could just decide that that's just not part of our story. You don't want to have kids.
And I'm like, how bold is that? Especially for a woman to say, I don't even want children. You know, there's that too. So it's not so much always. I think we like to focus on the money and well, mom and dad had a horrible divorce and that's why, you know, these children aren't doing that.
But I think there is something to people being, you know, far more mentally and tuned and spiritually and saying, it's just not my path. I don't want to do it. And it's okay. Yeah.
Rob Lee: I know that Seth Rogan has talked about that a lot. Him and his wife that they actively was like, ah, I'm trying to be parents. That's not of interest. And they get all types of flak around it. And I was like, this is what we're doing. It's so weird. And it's just like, these are individuals that can do whatever they want. How are they?
LaDawn Black: Exactly. And so I'm just out of room to space where you can, you can kick it around and we can have dialogue, but often people feel free to say I'm the around. They just say, no, is this not for me?
Rob Lee: So this is sort of the last real question. Um, and this is the, the culmination sort of piece and bringing together your, you know, your, your strong background, see the writing that, you know, the marketing background, media background. And, you know, again, looking at this sort of current media landscape, you know, and I think we touched on it a lot earlier, but what is one piece of advice you would share to someone aspiring to, you know, kind of do something in media or become a media professional, become a creative, um, you know, but in that sort of media space, you know, and as to all of the sort of online and all of the stuff that at times can feel like noise, but what advice would you share with someone who's I'm interested in doing it and I want to just maybe dive in a bit.
LaDawn Black: I would say just do it. I think a lot of times people, you know, throughout my career, you know, say, oh, I've been thinking about writing a book about getting on the radio, thinking about, you know, creating content on social media. And really what the stockpact is, is they don't do it. Number one, and it doesn't have to be perfect.
That's the biggest thing too. Um, people are like, well, I don't, you know, I don't know how to do lighting. I don't know how to edit. I don't know what I'm going to talk about.
How do I even approach people to come on and talk to me? You know, you're, you're getting stuck in the perfection of it. And what we found is when you look at people who are tremendously successful in these spaces, a lot of times, like we were talking earlier, you look back at the old stuff and you go, ooh, that was a mistake.
Ooh, I would never do that again. But you have to make those mistakes to get better. And a lot of times you have to make those mistakes to actually have a product. So I really talk to people about just doing it.
Don't worry about it being in the perfect form. You know, just get out there and do it. And then the thing is connect with the people who connect with you.
Because that's the other thing they're like, well, you know, I'm only talking to the same four people every week. You know, nobody's listening. Nobody's paying attention.
Nobody likes it. You know, you have to build and over time you will build an audience, but you can't build an audience if you don't have any content out there. So just do it. Don't worry about the perfection of it and the audience will come.
Rob Lee: Sound and sage advice. Thank you so much. You've been on this pod before. So you know what comes next. It is the rapid fire portion. And so you don't want to overthink these and they're fun.
Right. So this first one I felt was a strong one. And I've been, I was trying my damn just not to include it in the. But what's something for you that was previously a red flag, but might be a bit greener now, might be closer to that green side of things.
LaDawn Black: Yeah, we're talking in terms of relationship.
Rob Lee: However, I'm talking to a place you should have been.
LaDawn Black: You know, I'm not people who talk a lot. And that could be, I found that in the past would be very annoying. But now it's the, it's a sound of good communication. And that's how I look at it now. You know, I used to be going, you can communicate, you can communicate too much.
Right. Until you're with someone who doesn't communicate. And then you go, please talk to me. So a chatty person is actually a green flag for me now versus a red flag. And that's not just in the romantic relationship. But I think just in general, where I am in life, I like to know what you're thinking. I like to know your opinions on things so that I can know whether or not there's a connection there. So yeah, that would be a big one for me.
Rob Lee: I think a perfect answer right there. Shout out to you. Oh, thank you. I try. So here's another one. This isn't that tip realm. I made these a bit more bespoke for your strong skill set here. So it's a little bit cheating here and making me like to you. But what's in under the radar first date idea?
LaDawn Black: Oh, under the radar first date idea. Good one. I always think of first date idea that is great and makes you stand out. It's something that someone mentioned in the conversation that was very subtle. So like, let's do a little play acting right now. You know, we're having a conversation. It's first day. Oh, you know, first conversations.
Let's put it that way. So it's like, where are you from? You know, tell me a little bit about, you know, what you do for a living, you know, your family, blah, blah, blah. You know, all those little giving me to know your question. And let's just say a person dropped that they're a fan of bubble tea, right?
Somehow that just sucked in random comes out. You know, yes, it's great to go to the great restaurant. Yes, it's great to go to the fantastic bar downtown that's hot. But if someone said bubble tea and you were like, oh, we don't accept it to this little side, well, be what you listen. You're doing something different. It's unexpected. So I think throwing those little intimate things, that little thing that someone mentioned into that date is a date that's memorable.
Rob Lee: That's really good. That's really good. That's been my approach for the entire adult dating life. Old Rob Lee here, how he's find a way to listen and part of it is, I guess, being an interviewing and having that, but just like, oh, you're doing that. I know.
LaDawn Black: Make that happen. Because I think sometimes we get so caught up in what's expected that we do the routine and the routine will get you the routine will get you a 10 out of 10. Yes. But the different thing will get you that 12 out of 10. You know, it'll just, you know, go past what the expectation was for the day. Fantastic. Okay.
Rob Lee: Here's the last one. Um, connection has so much pressure now, it seems, um, to it's like, if it didn't happen immediately, it's not going to happen. It's just like, right, it can be more than one date. And, and I play with this idea of increasing one's cornyness tolerance. Like, okay, I gotta give this. I've, I know that I am not corny, but I have been called corny before and I'm like, look, I throw a dad joke out here, but I'm, I'm cool.
I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'd throw it out. There's a certain degree of confidence and then I'll hear from other people that, you know, just people that know me. It's like, yo, your confidence is way too high. You've got to bring that down. So it's just sort of like playing around, but I find that we talk about the idea of settling and I think, you know, folks had times feel like this person's not cool enough, not sexy enough, not interesting enough. And I think if we kind of turn that doll away from chasing the cool person chasing the sexy person Whatever it is to maybe someone that's a little bit outside of that traditional Value or what you're not cornyness it can help in dating. So what suggestion would you?
Make for someone to help them connect. I think it's reducing the cornyness factor, but what would you? Put out there to help maybe folks connect to what have you and you know having those like you know Authentic conversations that maybe we those dates and relationships
LaDawn Black: You know what I'm not gonna downplay attractiveness. I mean because attraction is important So if I don't you know, if you're not locking up across the room and like wow I've got to get to know that person that's important You know, it truly truly is but it's not everything it really isn't everything So I always encourage people to date people who are interesting to you because the person might not look like you're type or Give you the vibe that they're your type. She's just kind of interesting It's someone you like talking to there's someone that you know going for that coffee and going to have that drink You know, you're not gonna be bored, you know type of thing give that person a chance as well And then also like you said, you know bad dates happen and bad dates don't always mean that there's no Connection there a bad date to me. Look, I had the worst day at work that day And I didn't want to let you day on so I showed up and I just wasn't in the right mind, you know mindset Or mind frame to actually have a good time with you on that particular day Or the whole time we were together I was thinking about something else that I had to do later on, you know There can be a host of reasons why I think it's bad that mess don't necessarily have to deal with the person that you're sitting across from So sometimes date number two, you know, let's not punch out fight so bad, you know The things that we think are real flags may turn out to not be real flag on date two and date three You know, so get people grace the same way you would want some grace allow other people to have a good grace It doesn't mean if you lower your standards, it doesn't mean that you know Someone does something that's a total affront that you just like, oh, well, let's just jump in there a second time And let's just let that person do it again.
No There are clearly some things that you say nah, we're not doing this again, but for the most part Let the person have a second day because you never know the whole mood of the relationship or the whole mood of this situation to change on that second day
Rob Lee: Well said, thank you so much You know, I was saying earlier just like sage like advice just pull back in this is all of it So that's kind of it for the pod. So thank you.
LaDawn Black: Oh, thank you for having me
Rob Lee: And it's some time and so any final moments I want to invite you to share with the listeners any sort of parting thoughts And where they can check you out on the socials website all of that good stuff Any way to kind of stay in touch with what you have going on the floor is yours.
LaDawn Black: Oh Well, thanks again for having me on Rob. I really appreciate it's always fun I you know I guess a thought to leave behind is I'm really big on that just do it There's so many things in love relationship sex even in career, you know, if you think about media and communications You know, just do it step outside of that box and give new things to try because a lot of times You don't get the results we want because we're doing the same thing over and over and over again So just simply do it now as far as reaching out to me Instagram Twitter at he's by La Don is the easiest new things are coming Just check me out. They connected you'll see the new things as they roll out
Rob Lee: And there you have it folks I want to again thank La Don black for coming back on to the podcast and running it back with me and for La Don black I am Rob Lee saying that there's art culture and community in and around your neck of the woods You just have to look forward
